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We Actually Found A Small Shred Of Sanity In Washington, D.C.

By Travis Yoesting September 28, 2018
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For all the crap going on in the U.S. capital, there is some good out there.
@OfficialBHAFC | Twitter

Regardless of your politics, what has transpired this week in Washington, D.C., has been nothing short of unprecedented. Multiple allegations of a Supreme Court justice nominee committing sexual assault have enraged everyone all along the political spectrum.

Fortunately, we found a few people in the U.S. capital who have shown a modicum of decency and sanity in these crazy times. 

Here they come now!

Yes, folks, we found people in Washington, D.C., with some shred of dignity left. And they’re goofy, oversized English Premier League mascots.

These blokes don’t care about who is or isn’t allowed on the highest court in the U.S. They don’t care whether or not the FBI investigates allegations of sexual misconduct. They don’t care about stall tactics — unless we’re talking about taking 60 seconds to take a goal kick when you’ve got the lead with five minutes to play. 

Gunnersaurus doesn’t care about your stance on gun rights. His arms can’t hold guns.  

Stamford and Bridget don’t care about your stance on the Mueller investigation. They keep their Russian contacts in public view. 

Filbert doesn’t care about your stance on taxes. Foxes don’t have much need for money. 

Gully doesn’t care about your stance on abortion. Birds lay eggs.

Gully, Filbert, Gunnersaurus, Stamford and Bridget don’t care about your stance on immigration. They’re not planning to stick around. 

These mascots don’t lose all morality and ignore ethics just to advance their political agendas. They just want to play soccer.

OK, so maybe they are here to advance an agenda. Maybe these Brits are here to tell us soccer is better than basketball, football or even hockey!

And they have been known to stoop to childish antics to mock opponents.

But hey, they can reach across the aisle (or pond) and make friends with birds of a different feather.

Sports — and politics — are often extremely divisive and tribal. Whether it’s fighting with relatives over the dinner table about politics or arguing sports at the local bar, it’s always important to remember: We’re all humans. Let’s treat each other as such. 

Unless you’re whatever the fuck this abomination is:

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