Here Are The Latest Odds For Older Gentlemen Making The Switch To MLS

We want more old folks.

As countless think pieces have told us over the last couple years, Major League Soccer is shifting away from its “retirement league” stigma and embracing young, high potential talent with sell-on value. That’s all smart and good, but, in my opinion, not nearly as fun as the retirement league. Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but I’m still here for Zlatan Ibrahimović, Wayne Rooney and Bastian Schweinsteiger. 

Yes, I’d be a terrible MLS sporting director, but I’d also bring you Arjen Robben and Daniele De Rossi to do battle in the smoldering midsummer heat. You'd buy season tickets, don't lie. 

Anyway, I hope we get an injection of some new old talent in MLS soon, and according to US-Bookies, these are the ten geezers most likely to join MLS in 2019. 

MLS Transfer Rumors 2019: Elderly Gentlemen Edition

#10. Gareth Bale | Odds: 16/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? FC Cincinnati would be a great fit. Don't ask me why; I just like the idea of it. 

#9. Alexis Sanchez | Odds: 16/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? Orlando City, and surprise, it doesn't work out. 

#8. Mario Götze | Odds: 10/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? The Chicago Fire. It's time to win the World Cup.

#7. Luis Suarez | Odds: 10/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? The San Jose Earthquakes, where he can team up with his idol Wondo.

#6. Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez | Odds: 10/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? The Houston Dynamo. Look at his hair. It's basically a come-and-get-me plea to Wilmer Cabrera.

#5. Joe Hart | Odds: 8/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? The Colorado Rapids would sign him to replace Tim Howard, make him the club’s only DP and pay him $5 million per season.

#4. Gerard Pique | Odds: 8/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? The LA Galaxy because Shakira, Shakira.

#3. Franck Ribery | Odds: 4/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? Montreal Impact. I know they said never again after the whole Didier Drogba thing, but come on. Just try it.

#2. Daniele De Rossi | Odds: 2/1

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Which MLS club would sign him? Minnesota United. Pair him alongside Osvaldo Alonso and woof.

#1. Daniel Sturridge | Odds: 5/4

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Which MLS club would sign him? NYCFC. This actually looks like it’s going to happen.

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