I think we can now say definitively why Angel Di Maria was such a colossal failure at Manchester United.
Di Maria had four stellar years at Real Madrid, where he developed a reputation for having a rare combination of flair and work rate. He won six trophies with Los Blancos, including the 2014 Champions League.
But after a $73.65 million transfer to Manchester United in 2014, which broke the British transfer record at the time, he fizzled out faster than the dying Manc sun.
The reasoning became crystal clear this week after his wife, Jorgelina Cardoso, discussed her time in Manchester on “Los Angeles de la Manana,” featuring one of the most unnecessarily savage takedowns of a city ever.
“It was horrible; Manchester is the worst — it is all horrible in Manchester,” Cardoso said. “In fact, I fought a lot with Angel about it.
“We lived in Madrid. Angel played in the best team in the world, which for me is Real Madrid. We were perfect, the weather was perfect, the food was perfect. And suddenly he said that there was a proposal to go to Manchester. I told him, ‘Not a chance. You are going alone.’ ‘No, come on. Let’s go,’ he replied.”
Angel said the family would be more financially secure in the Premier League, so off they went to the north of England for double the pay. But Cardoso knew she would hate it before they even arrived.
“I didn’t want to go to Manchester because I am friends with Gianinna Maradona, who was married to Sergio Aguero, and we flew from Madrid to his house in Manchester to pay him a visit for two or three days when Angel had a few days off at Real Madrid,” Cardoso said. “It was horrible, shit. We went to the house and we were like ... ‘See you later guys, we’re out of here.’ When we left, I said to him, ‘Go to any country — except England.’
“Anyway, one year later and there we were in England, a shithole.”
To finish off her haymaker on Manchester, Cardoso ripped into the people, the lack of sunlight and the shit food, something upon which I think everyone outside of England can agree.
“The people are all pasty-faced, prim and proper ... weird,” Cardoso said. “They’re walking down the street and you don’t know if they’re going to kill you or what. The food’s disgusting. All the girls are all dolled up to the nines, perfectly made-up and there’s me with my hair in a bun and with no make-up on.
“We try to be closer when things go bad. I did not blame him for being there. I just told him, ‘Darling, I want to kill myself, it is already night at 2 p.m. in the afternoon.’”
No wonder Di Maria was so poor at Manchester United, scoring four goals in 32 tepid appearances before being shipped off to PSG. If things aren’t going well at home, they’re not going to go well at the office, whether you’re a footballer, an accountant or the president.
Hilariously, the ESPN story reporting Cardoso’s diatribe said the Worldwide Leader tried to reach the mayor of Manchester for comment. That’s a bit like asking a honeybee queen how she feels after a murder hornet has destroyed her hive.
As for Cardoso’s takedown, I can’t confirm any of what she said seeing as I haven’t been north of London in England. But after her comments, I don’t plan to visit Manchester anytime soon.
But c’mon, trading the Madrid sun for the Manchester bluster would be hard on anyone. Nearly three years later, I’m still adjusting to the dry Colorado cold after living in the hot Texas humidity for 30-plus years. And we all know English food is the worst.
As for Cardoso’s insult of the people, if we’re being honest, that’s on her. People are pretty much the same everywhere you go, it’s only tribalism and language barriers that prevent us from seeing each other for who they really are. If you take your time, you’ll find likeminded souls wherever you go.
Then again, there are assholes everywhere, and it wouldn’t surprise me if there are more assholes in Manchester than Madrid.
