So apparently Germany broke the World Cup trophy. This isn’t the first time a team has broken their championship hardware. Sergio Ramos dropped the Copa del Rey trophy, Billy Donovan and the Florida Gators dropped the NCAA's crystal basketball, and who knows what really happens to the Stanley Cup every year...and those are just a couple.
According to ESPN, “At one point, a small piece of our World Cup trophy was chipped off," German soccer federation president Wolfgang Niersbach said. "But do not worry! We have specialists on the case who can fix it. We have investigated persistently who it was that damaged the trophy, but the investigation was concluded without a result."
Unacceptable. So we here at The18 decided to take the investigation into our own, Internet-savvy hands. We haven't fully cracked the case yet, but here are our leading theories to-date.
Theory #1: Rihanna put Miroslav Klose in a deep, deep trance and damaged the Cup while trying to turn it into something "smokeable."
Theory #2: German Coach Jorgi Low, world renowned nose-picker, dug for the wrong gold and chipped the Cup. He then wandered off asking if Messi was around so he could shake his hand.
Theory #3: As has been well documented, German Chancellor Angela Merkel took a fancy to the German team and their trophy. And, what Angela Merkel wants, Angela Merkel gets.
Theory #4: All-time World Cup goal scorer Miroslav Klose decided to give his front flip celebration one last try while holding the trophy, but his form was off after a few too many steins. Remember kids, no S.C.U.I. (Soccer Celebrations Under the Influence)
(Photo:SonyDADCIndia | Twitter)
(Photo:SonyDADCIndia | Twitter)
Theory #5: Members of the German squad were surprised to find that unlike Bastien Schweinsteiger, the Cup bends and breaks.
Theory #6: Golden Glove trophy be damned, Germany just has the wrong goalie...because of course #TimHowardCouldSave the World Cup Trophy.
Theory #7: After a particularly spirited lunch while on his post-Cup vacation in Germany, The18’s very own Matt Jenkins may have attempted to apprehend the Cup for The18’s offices, with predictably disastrous results.
(Photo: Matt Jenkins)
Our investigation is still ongoing and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty (except Matt Jenkins of course), but rest assured that we at The18 are on the case. Feel free to send us your hot leads in the comments section.
