The Grown-Ass Man Turns 33 Today

The United States’ recent match against Panama conjured memories of one of the greatest performances by any American in World Cup qualifying. Eddie Johnson, then just 20 years old, took his total to four goals in only two international appearances by scoring a hat trick against Panama in only seventeen-minutes back in 2004.

His form for FC Dallas that year was equally as good, leading to Benfica offering an MLS-record $5 million for his services, a bid which both MLS and Johnson rejected. Johnson's time abroad didn't match his domestic success, but he was prolific for FC Dallas, Sporting Kansas City (then the Wizards), Seattle and DC United.

Today, March 31st, Johnson turns 33. He hasn’t played professionally since a heart ailment forced him into early retirement back in 2015, but the man from Bunnell, Florida still stands as the eighth highest scorer in the history of the USMNT with 19 goals from 63 appearances.

What’s more, he has the greatest nickname in all of sports. After being asked which video games he enjoyed playing early in his career, Johnson replied, “I don’t play video games. I’m a grown-ass man.” Eddie Johnson, Grown-Ass Man, GAM, whatever you want to call him, is a living legend.

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