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This Marek Hamsik Goal Confirms He’s Illuminati

Breaking news from The Eighteen Dot Com: Marek Hamsik is in the Illuminati. There is simply no other way to explain this confluence of events from Friday. How else do you rationalize No. 17 scoring in the 17th minute for his 117th goal with Napoli in the final game of 2017, all while wearing a patch with Hamsik’s face and the No. 17 on it?

Marek Hamsik, the Slovakian midfielder who has played for Napoli in the Serie A for a decade, was honored during the match by his Italian club, which wore patches to honor him as the club’s all-time leading scorer.

Marek Hamsik

Marek Hamsik patch for Napoli. Photo: @felix_futball | Twitter

Hamsik passed club legend Diego Maradona with his 116th goal last week to cement his own legendary status with the Gli Azzurri. Maradona had been the club’s leading scorer with 115 goals. 

But all of that merely set the stage for Hamsik’s goal on Friday, when he added to his record for most career goals for Napoli in the first half against Crotone. 

The man who made his Serie A debut at the age of 17 and wears No. 17 took one touch before smashing a left-footed shot past Crotone keeper Alex Cordaz. The goal came in the 17th minute of a match in which Napoli wore the No. 17 patches during the final game of 2017. It was his 117th goal for Napoli and the only goal in a 1-0 victory. 

You simply do not get this many confluences of the No. 17 without a conspiracy at work, like some sort of Fibonacci sequence. Clearly this goal is proof he is in the Illuminati (or at least the Belluminati). 

Hamsik is probably a part of a secret society plotting the downfall of the global soccer market. It’s the only way to explain some kid from Slovakia passing Maradona as the leading scorer for one of Italy’s most historic clubs. 

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