Earlier this week internationally famous singing person Adele threw her support for the Premiership title behind Tottenham Hotspur.
That in and of itself is only sort of newsy, but The18 has learned that Adele's smash hit "Hello" was originally written about Spurs, and we've gotten hold of an exclusive (fake) copy of an early studio take, which we present to you here:
Adele: OK let's get started! Pip pip jiminy crumpets!
Producer who looks like a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins and is covered in soot for no reason: oi, Adele mate, let’s blimey this bugger!
Adele: gibberish in which the only identifiable word is “badger.”
Hello? It’s me
I was wondering if this year you might not be quite so Spursy
Just finish over
Arsene
They say Dier saved the midfield
and the Belgians helped the "D"
Hellooooo? Can you hear me?
I’m in Northern London dreaming about who we used to be
When we relied on
Nacer Chadli
I’ve forgotten how it felt
Before we got Dele Alli
There’s such a difference between now and the Spuuuurrrs ooooffff ooollldddd
HELLO FROM WHITE HART LAAAAANE
PRINCE WILLIAM LOOKS LIKE HARRY KAAAANE
But Kane scores goals
even when he’s wearing a mask
When he’s in on goal
He’s usually up to the task
HELLO FROM SECOND PLAAAACE
SPURS MIGHT WIN THE PREMIER LEAGUE RAAAACE
And end St. Totteringham
once and for all
But it don’t matter
because their budget ain’t small
ANYMORE
Hello? How are you?
It’s so typical for Spurs to choke and the fans to be sorry
I hope
That they will
Rid themselves of that blood-pressure-heightening nerve-wracking habit
It’s no secret
If they choke again
I’m gonna lose my shiiiiiiiitttttt
SO HELLO FROM THIS NEW SPURS SIIIIIIDDDEEEE
WE’RE DREADING A LATE-SEASON SLLLIIIIDDEEEE
Because this team has
A dark history
And if they collapse
It’s gonna kill me
HELLO FROM THE TOOOOPPPP FOOOUUUUUURRRRRR
WE CANNOT SEEM TO SHUT THE DOOOORRRRR
Even though we’ve scored
The most goals in the league
It just won’t matter,
we can’t lose to Arsene
ANYMOOOORRRREEEE
OOOOhHH OOOOOHHHH ANYMOOOOOREEE OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH ANYMOOOOOREEE OOOOOOHHHHHHH ANYMORRREEEE ANYMOOOOOREEE
HELLO FROM NORTH LONDON’S PRIIIIIDDDDEEE
I MUST SAY IT”S BEEN QUITE A RIIIIIIDDDEEEE
I don’t know how long
I can watch this team play
When I do they make my
Hair turn to gray
SOON THEY”LL TAKE THIS EUROPEWIIIIDE
I KNOW WHERE HARRY KANE RESIIIIIDES
But I’m not a
Stalker or anything
It's just I wonder
What kind of fee he will bring
When he’s sold
And that's it. Also: "Skyfall" is actually about Aston Villa.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
