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News

Game Of The Century Is Won By Spurs, But Marine Made Believers Of Us All

Sunday’s FA Cup Third Round meeting between Tottenham Hotspur, fourth-place in the Premier League, and Marine AFC, sixth-place in the Northern Premier League Division One North West, represented a record gap of 161 places in the English football pyramid.

The prospect of the greatest giant killing of all time — and the spectacle of José Mourinho’s side visiting Rossett Park in Merseyside — allowed Marine to compensate for the potential loss in revenue of playing the match behind closed doors by selling 20,000 virtual tickets.

Those lucky enough to watch the match from the the backyards of houses near the pitch provided what atmosphere they could.     

Jurgen Klopp at Marine

2d Jurgen Klopp was in attendance!

Marine vs Tottenham

This guy probably had the best day of anyone on the planet.

The starting XIs couldn’t have been more fascinating. Spurs boasted seasoned internationals in Moussa Sissoko, Lucas Moura, Toby Alderweireld and Dele Alli, while Gareth Bale and Son Heung-min were on the bench. For a bit of perspective, Bale makes over $650,000 per week. Marine’s entire wage budget for the whole season was $160,000.   

What’s more, Marine hadn’t played since Dec. 26 because of the implementation of the UK Government’s new national COVID-19 lockdown. They could only adequately prepare for this match after Everton and Liverpool allowed them to use their training grounds. 

My favorite Marine players were defender James Joyce (A Portrait of the Left Back as a Young Man), thicc boi striker/P.E. teacher Niall Cummins and 35-year-old center back David Raven.

The opening 15 minutes saw Spurs dominate possession but Marine work effectively to keep them at bay. Then, out of nowhere, we almost had pure pandemonium: Neil Kengni smacked the crossbar with Joe Hart, like the rest of us, unable to believe it. 

That woke the beast as Tottenham scored four goals over a 13-minute period to put Marine away before halftime. Carlos Vinícius hit a hat-trick with Alli playing his part in each, and Lucas struck a sweet free kick to make it 4-0 after 45.  

24’: Vinícius is lucky as hell to convert after being dimed by Alli. He completely misses his initial attempt but somehow regains control and rounds the keeper before finishing and hitting the Mbappé celly.   

30’: Alli picks out the run of Matt Doherty, who has his volley saved but Vinícius is there to tap-in the rebound.

32’: Lucas with the exceptional free kick. 

37’: Alli tries to breakthrough the Marine backline and the ball eventually falls to Vinícius. The 25-year-old Brazilian completes his first half hat-trick in fine style with a composed lob into the top corner.

Tottenham would add one more in the second half after 16-year-old Alfie Devine, who replaced Sissoko at halftime, scored on the hour mark.

Spurs finished with 75% possession and eight shots on target compared to two for Marine. The win puts Tottenham into the FA Cup Fourth Round, whereas Marine players are now furloughed with their season on hold because of the lockdown. 

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