What happens when professional athletes need to go? It’s a rare occurrence, but sometimes a player simply can’t hold it anymore and must go.
This was the case for Stuttgart’s Waldemar Anton on Wednesday during the DFB-Pokal semifinal against Eintracht Frankfurt. In the 63rd minute the defender went down without any contact and made the signal to the coaching staff that he needed to be substituted off.
Rather than heading to the bench, Anton made a beeline for the tunnel.
Have you ever suffered the sudden urge to go No. 2 while on a road trip? In this all too familiar scenario you are speeding to find the nearest gas station to unleash unholy havoc in the bathroom.
The jog from the car to the gas station is one of maximum caution. If you overdo it and sprint, then you could suffer a premature fecal detonation. Instead, you do what many call the “poop shuffle.” A half jog, half speed walk while clenching tight.
Anton showed perfect “poop shuffle” form as he headed down the tunnel.
Waldemar Anton poop shuffle
When you gotta go you gotta go pic.twitter.com/iLe0rqpa2e
— I Love Shakhtar Donetsk (@buffafalos) May 4, 2023
Anton had missed the team’s final training session prior to the big semifinal due to stomach issues. After the game Stuttgart’s manager Sebastian Hoeneß confirmed what had happened and why his defender left so abruptly.
"Unfortunately, Waldi again felt the stomach upset he already had yesterday. He could no longer carry on playing,” Hoeneß said.
You have to feel bad for Anton. How dooming must have it felt for the poor guy to have the options of pooping his pants in front of 60,000 people (with white shorts no less) or to abandon a semifinal game?
Stuttgart would lose the match 3-2.
To make Anton feel better, here are a couple other times that professional athletes couldn’t hold it anymore.
Lamar Jackson’s poop shuffle vs. Browns
I know that kind of run, and it ain’t because of cramps lol... pic.twitter.com/icg4Wv9pgt
— Will Blackmon (@WillBlackmon) December 15, 2020
“He went for a sh*t”
Gary Lineker makes a mess at the World Cup
DaMarcus Beasley pisses off at the World Cup
