One of the most annoying trends (which we will be participating in, by the way) on the internet is publishers publishing obviously false stories on April Fools Day. This year, April Fools Day is on a Saturday, so many publishers are doing something even more annoying, publishing their "fools" on March 31 instead. Enter the Charlotte Independence, who published a thing about signing former NFL wide receiver Randy Moss.
First off, f*ck you Charlotte Independence, it isn't even April Fools Day yet.
Second, this would have been great because Randy Moss is dope and good and fun, and we need more ridiculous West Virginia accents in soccer.
Third, the Charlotte Independence is the USL affiliate of the Colorado Rapids and I live in Colorado and if hthis had been true and he got called up I would have paid ungodly (for me) amounts of money to watch him play in the MLS.
Fourth, Randy Moss is a freak of nature and could probably pick up soccer in like two days.
Fifth, the first letter of every sentence in the release about signing Moss spells out "April Fools".
Sixth, this is definitely not real, and April Fools Day is on April 1, not March 31, a**holes.
Seventh, any and all April Fools content publised today, March 31, should be fired into the sun. I don't mean to pick on the Charlotte Independence here, because lots of organizations did this, but for the love of God stop.
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