Home
Nigel de Jong is a tiger. I'll explain.
Chris Rock's Never Scared is the first comedy special during which I remember laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. One of my favorite bits from that particular special is his joke about magicians Siegfied and Roy and the alleged tiger that ended their show in Las Vegas. Have a watch:
Nigel de Jong went tiger this weekend on Darlington Nagbe's ankle region during LA Galaxy's match against the Portland Timbers, and there was much outrage. Oh lord, was there outrage.
Notice I do not say surprise, or shock. There was very little of those things after de Jong decided that Darlington Nagbe and Xabi Alonso should have something in common besides being central midfielders.
Here's the video:
Nagbe was stretchered off the field after his little run-in with de Jong. The severity of his injury isn't yet known, but, again, he had to be taken off the field on a stretcher.
Who could have predicted Nigel de Jong would injure someone with a dirty tackle during his MLS tenure? Everyone, including LA Galaxy management. If Nigel de Jong is the tiger in that Chris Rock bit, then Chris Klein is Siegfried and Bruce Arena is Roy. They tried to make de Jong ride around the MLS on a bicycle wearing a Hitler helmet, but Darlington Nagbe is the one who got bit.
I mean, come on: it's not like there was a ton of evidence that de Jong would be a dirty player when he came to MLS.
Nigel De Jong Ruins Xabi Alonso
Special note: just like the challenge on Nagbe, de Jong received a mere yellow card for his imitation of that dude from the movie 300.
Nigel De Jong Ruins Stuart Holden
Special note: Stuart Holden, whose career was basically ruined by de Jong's tackle in that video, was in the stands for de Jong's tackle on Nagbe. The forces of the universe have a dark sense of humor.
Nigel De Jong Ruins Andrea Ranocchia
They had to know this was coming. Nigel de Jong is known far and wide as one of the dirtiest players in the world, and he is far enough into his career that any hope of reformation is pretty much gone.
This leaves us with three options: they naively thought the man whose nicknames include "The Destroyer" and "The Lawnmower" wouldn't play like he has played for his entire career, they ignored his history in favor of bringing in a name that people would know to increase the club's status or they realized that Steven Gerrard doesn't have the legs anymore to track people in midfield and the only way this was gonna work was if the opposition center mids no longer had working legs.
The second option is the most likely, and in the end the blame should fall on Galaxy management. They knew what they were getting when they brought in one of the dirtiest players in the game, but there's no way they'll ever be punished for it by MLS. We're going to have to rely on karma for that.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
