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Entertainment

The Trailer For The New xXx Movie Will Make You Want To Go Out And Kick Things

The official trailer for xXx: Return of Xander Cage has been released. This may not seem like soccer information to you. This is absolutely soccer information.

Neymar is in this movie. Neymar is in this trailer as a guy who kind of just looks generally relaxed about everything. Vin Diesel is also in this movie, in a more prominent role as the guy who is not allowed to be relaxed about anything because of evil crime syndicates. Samuel L. Jackson is in this movie, playing the part of Samuel L. Jackson. Some other people are in this movie, but those are the main three you need to care about, Neymar for soccer reasons and the other two for movie reasons.

We covered many elements of Vin Diesel/xXx movies when the last trailer came out, so let's focus on an element we didn't get in the last one: Neymar kicks a thing and it hits a guy in the face.

This is an excellent development, as we've so far been limited to one-second cutaways and Vin Diesel's Instagram in our quest to find out what exactly Neymar will be doing in this movie.

We're really glad Neymar's in the movie, but kicking things specialist, or whatever, is a little on the nose, don't you think? You could have made him any kind of character you wanted and y'all decided on person who kicks stuff? This is fiction, people! Have a little imagination!

We should also talk about growling. Vin Diesel is one of my favorite all-time Hollywood growlers. My Mount Rushmore of Hollywood growlers look like this: Vin Diesel, Liam Neeson, Jack Nicholson and Bart the Bear. Vin Diesel can get anyone to do anything just by growling at them.

And on January 20, 2017, he'll be growling on-screen adjacent to Neymar at movie theatres across the country and I am not going to miss it. Ride or die. Family.

Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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