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If you live in the United States, you've been inundated with the Volkswagen World Cup advertisements that suggest teams you should support given the United States' inability to qualify.
Picking a team to follow based on that advertisement would not have ended well for you. We compiled a list on who to support based on which nation gave the most compelling argument in the advertisement, but it turns out none of them backed it up on the field.
If the United States somehow doesn't qualify for the 2022 World Cup (and there still might be 48 teams instead of 32, so it really shouldn’t be too hard), then we might see another Volkswagen commercial that instructs you to jump on a team's “wagen.” If your home nation is featured in that commercial in 2022, then sorry to say, but you should invest in some tissues to dry your eyes out with when your team gets sent packing at the hands of some obscure nation.
Here’s a look at how the teams featured in the Volkswagen commercial fared at the 2018 World Cup. We've also included both commercials, so if you haven't seen it enough on television, then you can watch it until your heart is content.
ICELAND - Eliminated at the group stage
They “beat” Argentina 1-1 in their first ever World Cup match, but from that point onwards, Iceland was like watching a car crash in slow-motion. A 2-0 loss to Nigeria set them up with a do-or-die clash against Croatia, but the World Cup finalists put the nail in the coffin for Iceland.
It was a valiant effort from the nation that had the smallest population at the World Cup, but they left Russia with only one point.
GERMANY - Eliminated at the group stage
The World Cup winner’s curse continued, as Germany finished last in a group that consisted of Mexico, Sweden and South Korea. With most of the World Cup-winning team from 2014 returning to the side, they departed Russia with nothing more than a whimper. They lost 1-0 to Mexico, relied on a Toni Kroos stunner for a last-minute winner against Sweden, along with a 2-0 defeat to South Korea that saw Manuel Neuer join the German attack in the dying minutes of that match.
However, Joachim Low somehow kept his job and will continue managing Die Mannschaft.
SWITZERLAND - Eliminated in the Round of 16
The Swiss made it out of a tough group that included Brazil, Costa Rica and Serbia, but after that, they didn’t do anything. Switzerland were sent home by Sweden in the Round of 16 in probably one of the most boring games of all-time.
They’ll be looking to bounce back at the Euro 2020 tournament to show the world that they are more than just a nation that has good chocolate and the Swiss army knife.
ARGENTINA - Eliminated in the Round of 16
Right from its opening match, you could sense that it was going to be ugly for Argentina. A 1-1 draw against Iceland, a 3-0 defeat to Croatia along with a 2-1 victory against Nigeria saw Lionel Messi’s side undeservedly make it to the Round of 16, but they were given a harsh reality lesson against France.
A 4-3 scoreline flattered the Argentines against a French side who had a certain Kylian Mbappe play the game of his life. Reports of a player revolt and Sampaoli being “sacked” only added to the shitshow that was Argentina at this World Cup.
BRAZIL - Eliminated in the quarterfinals
Many predicted that this would be Brazil’s chance to redeem itself after a rather underwhelming performance in its own backyard four years ago. Brazil topped its group with a draw and two wins, along with a victory over Mexico that saw Neymar grab all the headlines for the wrong reasons, along with sparking the internet phenomenon of the “Neymar Challenge."
Today’s halftime entertainment: “The Neymar Challenge”. #Xolos #LigaMXeng pic.twitter.com/YuJcglOJF7
— Francisco Velasco (@FranciscoEfV) July 8, 2018
They met Belgium in the quarterfinals and left Russia after being defeated 2-1 at the hands of the unplayable duo of Romelu Lukaku and Eden Hazard.
BELGIUM - Eliminated in the semifinals
If you want to get super technical, Belgium is still in the tournament because it still has one more match in Russia. However, that’s the third place playoff that even the players couldn’t care less about.
Belgium’s Thibaut Courtois and Eden Hazard felt hard done by in their semifinal loss to the French, claiming that Les Bleus played “anti-football.” There’s nothing wrong with a bronze medal, fellas.
Moral of the story: if Volkswagen produce a 2022 World Cup commercial that features multiple teams, just accept the fact that you can’t win the World Cup.
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