On Wednesday, Jose Mourinho said his team scored four goals and tied 2-2. On Saturday his team scored four goals and won 4-1.

It’s a common refrain to say Jose Mourinho loves boring, defensive football. It’s mostly true these days, especially as he seems to favor long balls to big men in the box over any sort of technical play. His best results of the season (the win over Juventus springs to mind) have come via Route 1 football. 

Manchester United and Arsenal’s 2-2 draw on Wednesday at Old Trafford was downright absurd at times. But given all the oddities in the Man U vs Arsenal highlights, one stands out as being a real missed opportunity for an inventive winner. And this match deserved a winner. 

Referee Andre Marriner had a complicated match to officiate and whether you’re an Arsenal fan, Manchester United fan or a neutral, you probably don’t think he had a very good performance. Goal-line technology was called into use but you feel VAR would’ve aided this game immensely. 

Jose Mourinho likes to call himself the Special One and pump up his accomplishments. But right now, he’s just the Lucky One. 

He’s lucky to have David De Gea in goal making otherworldly saves. He’s lucky to not have VAR in the Champions League or Premier League, helping his club score late goals. And he’s lucky that water bottles are not sentient beings who fight back.

Manchester City achieved what Juventus could not on Sunday, burying Manchester United when another Jose Mourinho smash and grab threatened. Sumptuous goals from David Silva and Sergio Aguero had given City a 2-0 lead, but a needless foul by Ederson on Romelu Lukaku allowed Anthony Martial to halve the deficit in the 58th minute.

Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford saw the entire history of the universe pass by as he waited to take his chance against Bournemouth on Saturday. 

When Paul Pogba danced around on the left wing to send in a cross to Rashford in the 92nd minute, the universe had yet to be created. 

As Rashford sized up the cross and hung in the air, the Big Bang exploded the universe into being and gravity, strong, weak and electromagnetic interactions hadn’t even formed 13.8 billion years ago.

We should be used to this by now, but for some reason it still comes as a surprise.

Another big match involving Jose Mourinho became all about the Portuguese manager, despite an enthralling Chelsea-Manchester United match in the first 96 minutes on Saturday at Stamford Bridge.