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Diplo Has Invested In A Soccer Club. Could Skrillex And The Biebs Help Out?

DJ, record producer and songwriter extraordinaire Diplo has invested in United Soccer League club Arizona United SC. The five-time Grammy nominated producer and artist, Mad Decent record manager and periodic misogynist is leading an investment group which is purchasing a stake in the team.

Diplo has frequently collaborated with both Skrillex (Jack Ü) and Justin Bieber. What’s to stop them from completely transforming Arizona United together?

Playing in the third tier of the American soccer pyramid, MLS and NASL comprise the top two tiers, Diplo will seemingly have a lot of control with regards to the direction of the club. While holding a seat on Arizona United SC’s board of directors, here are three things we’re excited to see with Diplo at the controls:

#1: Arizona United being referred to as The Cultural Appropriation Boyz 

Dubstep, trap, dancehall, rap, Miami bass, favela funk, pop, house, R&B, jazz, soca - Diplo has done it all. His music has mashed together seemingly incompatible genres to maximum effect since he arrived on the scene as part of Hooked on Hollertronix

While the claim of cultural appropriation, controversially used elements of a minority culture by the cultural majority, has followed Diplo around, this kind of assimilation of worldly elements will make Arizona United an unstoppable mixture of Brazil’s Samba Boys, Jamaica’s Reggae Boyz and Italy’s Fratelli d’Italia.   

#2: Arizona United SC going ballistic during warmups and receiving multiple red cards in the opening minutes 

There’s a theory behind how music can directly affect your body’s emotional state. It can be used to stay positive, focused and energized, directly translating to your on-field performance. If this theory holds true for Arizona United, expect the heavy rotation of Jack Ü and Major Lazer during warm-ups to have a major influence on the proceedings.  

The combination of trap and dubstep elements should work the side into a wild savagery before kick-off, the sub-bass lines melting their faces off in triple-time. For the players that make it out alive after warm-ups, expect a few two-footed, knee-high tackles to come flying in right after the opening whistle. It’s going to be grimy. 

#3: Arizona United SC changing its name to Bubble Butt FC

“Wherever I am, Jamaica, Spain, England, China, etc., soccer is a social constant,” said Diplo. “I see soccer the same way I see music, as a connective tissue linking the world’s cultures.” A poetic view of the world's game, no doubt.

Want to hear some more poetry? In the song “Bubble Butt” by Major Lazer, the lyrics command you to, “Turn around, stick it out/Show the world you got a/Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt”. Liverpool supporters have You'll Never Walk Alone, but can you imagine 20,000 supporters belting out the lyrics to "Bubble Butt" while the team takes the pitch? 

Major Lazer’s undeniably addictive dance floor jam peaked at number 56 on the Billboard Hot 100. However, it’s true significance was felt in places like Lebanon and South Korea, where it reached number one on the weekly charts.

The resulting music video from Eric Wareheim, of Tim & Eric comedy fame, was an artistic work of social realism without conventions. 

The greatness of the fourth single from the album Free the Universe will not have been lost on Diplo. But how to ensure that the song lives on throughout posterity? Simple, change the club’s name to Bubble Butt FC. Just look at the change below!

The Old Arizona United SC Badge:

Arizona United SC Badge

Photo: @breluvmusic | Twitter

The New & Improved Bubble Butt FC Badge:

Diplo Arizona United SC: New Badge

Photo: YouTube & Connor Fleming

I'm no graphic designer, but that looks goood! We should all be excited about the future of the club formerly known as Arizona United SC.

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