Okay, okay, so the amount of ink expended on Suarez-driven headlines hasn’t solely related to a pending transfer to Real Madrid or Barcelona. We hold our hands up - “The Cannibal” has given headline writers plenty else to chew on (sorry) over the last couple of days. And yet, despite a four-month ban from all soccer-related activities, it appears that both Real and Barca are prepared to cough up €80m for his services.
So how did we get here? Biting aside, Suarez, his entourage and Spain’s two largest clubs have demonstrated some textbook transfer-mongery over the last few weeks:
Step One: The Public Display of Affection
Any club president worth his salt knows the importance of using the media to pen a transfer love letter. Up first was former Real supremo Ramon Calderon, who declared Suarez “one of the best players in the world” during an interview with a UK broadcaster. Next, incumbent president Florentino Perez got in on the act: “Well, Suarez is a great player…if you ask me if I like Luis Suarez, then yes.” Get a room, Florentino.
Once the trivialities of the World Cup are out of the way, expect to see the third strand of the PDA: the player-to-player love-in. Given the large number of Spanish internationals prematurely heading to the airport, it may start sooner than expected.
Step Two: Roll Out The In-Laws
Contrary to popular belief, In-Laws can be useful. Just look at how Camp Suarez expertly deployed his wife’s father if proof be needed. Speaking on Spanish TV, Gustavo Balbi declared: "Luis has nothing left to prove in England. It'd be the right time to move to Spain...It doesn't matter whether it's one team or the other (Madrid or Barcelona)."
You don’t have to use the father-in-law, of course. A brother, mother or wife works equally well. Just don’t use an agent. That’s way too obvious (see: Toure, Yaya).
Step Three: Create a Context
The wiliest of transfer operators seek to create a long-term context for their departure, above and beyond football and money, that makes their transfer as inevitable as Wayne Rooney in a pie shop: their wife is unhappy in rainy [insert any town in Britain]; their boyhood dream has always been to play for [insert name of wealthier, more successful club]; they want to play for a club that gives them a Bugatti, not a cake, for their birthday (still looking at you, Yaya).
Nobody would suggest Suarez chowed down on Giorgio Chiellini’s shoulder blade to force through a transfer, but the comments afterwards – alongside those following his goals against England – reveal an intriguing sub-plot.
In the aftermath of the Italy game, Uruguay captain Diego Lugano told reporters: “The British media has a vendetta against Suarez, and everyone knows that." After the England game, Suarez himself told the press: “I am enjoying this moment because of all I suffered, the criticism I received…too many people in England laughed about my attitude…I want to see what they think now.”
Remember, this is the man who was voted the Football Writers’ Player of the Year and the PFA Player of the Year. It seems clear that Suarez is seeking to create a context in which his return to nasty old England is just too ghastly to consider.
Last year Suarez sought to force a transfer from Liverpool on the grounds that they hadn’t secured Champions League football. This year, despite the promise of competing in Europe’s top domestic competition, he is undoubtedly still angling for a move. With Real and Barca circling, in spite of all that has occurred over the last few days, it seems highly unlikely that The Cannibal will be on Merseyside next season.
