If Burnley Football Club was a food, it would be a potato.
There's not a lot of flavor here, but there is a lot of starch. The Clarets are a lumpy soccer team. The defenders lump long balls forward and the forwards lump those long balls toward the goals and when the other team is on the attack Burnley's midfielders lump them really hard and if they get past the midfield the defense lumps them even harder.
I can only imagine what a Burnley practice looks like: players intermittently kicking balls really hard at a brick wall while other players are on the other side shouldering the wall, and they're not allowed to leave until they knock the wall down.
And you know what? It's fun as hell to watch. American football has proven the entertainment value of athletic humans smashing into each other, which is Burnley's happy place.
The Clarets are in the Premier League now, but they still play like they're in the Championship.
Burnley played Watford on Monday and Burnley lumped Watford 2-0. The pushed and pulled and lumped whenever Troy Deeney and Odion Ighalo and Etienne Capoue tried to get forward. Both goals that Burnley scored were headers Burnley lumped into the net off corners. Their attack was completely devoid of imagination and ther defense was completely devoid of finesse. Watford came to play soccer but Burnley wanted to have a rock fight. Watford were like OK, sure, but Burnley are way better at rock fighting than Watford, though Watford are way better at soccer. It was a mess.
It was also a delight. More lumps, please.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
