The18 Office Runs Out Of LaCroix During International Break, One Feared Dead
The18 videographer Mariel McCown was found face down at her desk Wednesday afternoon, diagnosed with something called LaCroix lethargy.
Two days ago, McCown had told the office manager about the urgent lack of LaCroix in the office fridge, but little was done to remedy the situation. The result was an employee left without anything but water and coffee to drink for most of the day.
Fortunately, McCown responded well to a treatment of beer at 4 p.m., but we’re going to keep an eye on her energy levels throughout the remainder of the week.
With soccer suffering through another unfortunate international break, The18’s office has struggled to deal with the excruciating lack of things to write about. LaCroix is the only thing that can help us through the day. And by LaCroix, we definitely mean Dasani Sparkling Water, because we only drink Coke products in this office (and Dr. Pepper).
Also, we’re trying like crazy to avoid having to write about that nauseating Coleen Rooney-Rebekah Vardy story and this is what we’ve come up with.
For The Love Of Gyasi, When Will The International Break Be Over?
Fortunately, for those wondering when will the international break be over for October 2019, club ball will return on Friday, Oct. 18. The good matches don’t start until Saturday, Oct. 19, with Chelsea-Newcastle, Atlético-Valencia and the MLS playoffs. The following Sunday (Oct. 20) brings us Liverpool at Manchester United. Until then, we’re just going to go through months of tweets from @SimpsonsArsenal, probably the greatest thing to happen to social media since LeRaffe James, or maybe binge watch Season 3 of Big Mouth again.
We can’t wait for the USMNT to be done with the Concacaf Nations League and the fridge to be stocked with LaCroix Dasani Sparkling Water so we can get back into the swing of things and stop dying.