The Ultimate Soccer Hipster Has Been Discovered In Mexico

Portland Timbers fans will be crushed to hear that the hipster-est football hipster in the known universe has been discovered, and he wasn't found at Providence Park.

Rather, the most hipster man in football was spotted at Estadio Corona on Sunday at Santos Laguna's clash with Veracruz. Bask in this man's ironic glory:

The hipster that was reading barefoot during the Santos Veracruz game yesterday. Lol #LigaMXeng pic.twitter.com/Su08RdERZd

— Francisco Velasco (@FranciscoEfV) August 15, 2017

Let's break this down:

1. Reading a book during a soccer game.

2. Two pairs of glasses.

3. Bare feet.

4. Big beard. 

5. Sleeveless jersey for what appears to be a Boston rec league team.

6. Headband.

This man almost certainly owns and uses an original iPod mini. It is stocked full of music. You have not heard of any of the bands. 

It is only a matter of time before the Guardian or Vice hires him, if one of them hasn't already.