Antonio Valencia's Thunderous Volley Ruined Wayne Rooney's Manchester Return. Then It Got Worse

Any thoughts Wayne Rooney had of a happy return to Manchester were ritually sacrificed by being set on fire and danced around by his former teammates.

To wit:

Antonio Valencia, who spent eight seasons as Rooney's teammate in red, welcomed his former captain back by thundering a volley past Jordan Pickford in the fourth minute.

Everton gamely hung on until Kevin Mirallas came on for Rooney, who left the pitch to measured applause from United fans. Now, I am not saying Manchester United were just being polite by keeping it respectable while Rooney was on the pitch, but I am also not not saying that.

Three Manchester United goals in the last ten minutes, from Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Romelu Lukaku and Anthony Martial left United fans satisfied and Evertonians wondering what just happened.

After one of the biggest spending sprees in club history, Everton have some soul-seaching to do. But this isn't about Everton. It's about Manchester United ruining Wayne Rooney's return to Old Trafford because they are good and Everton are really ba—I guess it is about Everton, actually.