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Cristiano Ronaldo is wishing us a merry Christmas in the most Cristiano Ronaldo way possible, with a music video of "Jingle Bells," set in his house, the opulence of which rivals that of the videos made by gangsta rappers from Miami. We're surprised Rick Ross and DJ Khaled don't have cameos.
He took the opportunity to show aff all the really nice stuff he has in his house, and there is a lot of really nice stuff in his house. He is, after all, Cristiano Ronaldo. We also get primers on his teeth-brushing and toast-making techniques, which is information that we desperately needed.
If we had that much nice stuff, we would not be messing around with a soccer ball near it. Of course, we do not have Ronaldo's touch. He's probably not taking much of a risk here.
You may have noticed the song doesn't contain any lyrics. Did we make some up for Ronaldo? Of course we did:
Ronaldo's making toast
He likes it a certain way
He's not trying to boast
With his giant-ass house on display
He's got a lot of expensive sh*t
And a fancy car
And he's going to show us it
'Cause he's a superstar
OOOOOOHHHHH,
Indoor moat, not to gloat
His diamonds are super cold
He doesn't own a single thing that's not encased in gold
OOOOOOHHHHH,
Shiny floors, statues indoors
Closeups of his teeth
Ronaldo has way more money than us 'cause he has magic feet
Hey!
Merry Christmas everyone.
(H/T Vice Sports)
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus
