Jamie Vardy Might Just Be Dobby The House-Elf Reincarnated

At times, Dobby was a bad house-elf. Employed by the Malfoy family, who he detested and worked against, Dobby warned Harry Potter of the actions of dark wizards and saved Harry’s life at Malfoy Manor. He’d subsequently do things like bang his face against cabinets, hit his own head with a lamp and iron his own hands for his disobedience. 

At times, Jamie Vardy has been a bad striker. Employed by Claudio Ranieri in defense of Leicester City’s title, Vardy disappeared for a few months before Ranieri’s sacking, only to rediscover the form that saw him called to the English national team. He does things like punch his own face, smack himself across the jaw and head-butt the ground for his own transgressions. 

Here’s Dobby hurting himself for his own insubordination: 

Here’s Vardy practicing self-injury for his own infractions:

Jamie Vardy missing and then punching himself in the face. Guessing his brain was chatting shit pic.twitter.com/SxdZlpDqLv

— Josh (@big_man_joshy) March 14, 2017

pic.twitter.com/uHyBFL3XvF

— BeanymanSports (@BeanymanSports) March 26, 2017

@BeanymanSports https://t.co/ByXKVnAsOo

— Tom Doncaster (@TomDoncaster) March 26, 2017

@BeanymanSports @YouTube https://t.co/YNRYhV3qmT

— Tom Doncaster (@TomDoncaster) March 26, 2017

Apart from looking pretty similar and enjoying extreme forms of penance, they’re also both a form of the literary device known as deus ex machina. They are implausible characters introduced into storylines to resolve conflict.

Dobby being able to apparate into the cellar of Malfoy Manor was a convenient little plot twist for JK Rowling, and Jamie Vardy being a bricklayer who is sent stumbling by Samir Nasri’s forehead is equally unbelievable.

And, after Ranieri's sacking, Vardy revealed that he'd gotten death threats "on social media, walking down the street, you name it". Dobby once revealted to Harry Potter, "Dobby is used to death threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home."

I could go on, but I think the point has been made beyond refute: some part of Dobby's soul is within Jamie Vardy.