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One would think Donald Trump has comfortably used up his stupidity quota for 2015. Just look at these two incidents alone: Wanting to deport anyone who's ever eaten a burrito, and using a stump speech to publicly poke fun at a person's disability. But, like a rotting skunk stuck down the back of your radiator, Donald's stench just keeps on getting deeper and more desperate.
The latest "policy announcement" to eminate from Trump Towers is to ban all Muslims from entering the United States, either as immigrants or tourists, "until our country's representatives can figure out what is going on," whatever that means. When asked for a little more clarity on who exactly would fall under the ban, Trump's campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski said: "Everyone."
Which might, if Trump were elected, cause a fair few European clubs to rethink their pre-season plans. Over the last five-to-ten years, top teams from the Premier League, La Liga, the Bundesliga and Serie A have regularly traveled to the United States for pre-season tournaments, playing each other as well as teams from MLS. Problem is, many of the world's best footballers, who primarily play in Europe, just so happen to be Muslim.
So the next time you hear The Donald use a pneumatic drill when a scalpel is required, think of these five footballing greats who wouldn't be able to showcase their talents in front of US crowds under – deep breaths everybody – President Trump.
Franck Ribery, Bayern Munich
Champions League winner, multiple Bundesliga titles and World Cup runner-up are just a few of Franck Ribery's accolades. The French international and Bayern Munich winger also happens to be a practicing Muslim. Sorry Franck, Trump says no.
Mesut Ozil, Arsenal
Born in Germany, but of Turkish origin, Mesut Ozil is one of the finest players to currently grace the Premier League, with 12 assists and two goals in 14 appearances so far this season. He also has a World Cup winners medal, a La Liga title and a couple of FA Cups. But he's Muslim, so he's not allowed in either.
Karim Benzema, Real Madrid
Champions League and La Liga winner with Real Madrid, not to mention countless Ligue 1 titles with Lyon and other individual accolades, Karim Benzema has 142 goals in six-and-a-bit seasons with Los Blancos, but they couldn't select him for any US pre-season tours if Donald had his way. To be fair, there are probably other reasons why Karim might not be travelling with the squad.
Yaya Toure, Manchester City
Toure's bullying strength and directness propelled Manchester City from sheikh's plaything to two-time Premier League champions. He also has a Champions League medal and a couple of La Liga titles stuffed down the back of the sofa. Yaya will be comforted to know that Donald has "many Muslim friends. They're wonderful people."
Zinedine Zidane, Real Madrid B
Yes, we're aware he retired, but the current Real Madrid B coach and likely next first team manager would be precluded from traveling with those under his charge. And under no circumstances would he be doing anything like the above on American soil under his Trumpness.
Notable mentions: Sami Khedira, Xherdan Shakiri, Papiss Cisse, Emre Can, Moussa Dembele, Marouane Fellaini, Samir Nasri, Kolo Toure . . . we could go on.
