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News

This Amazon Drone Will Deliver Your Soccer Gear In 30 Minutes. Seriously.

The future is here. The new Amazon Drone commercial that the online retailer just dropped – like Donald Trump returning from space on a Jeff Bezos-fueled rocket – proves it.

What's that you say? Your ill-trained Rottweiler just chewed up your daughter Millie's football boot because you were too busy drinking coffee and pretending to be single to notice? No problem. Amazon's got your back. This Amazon drone commercial shows that not only is online retail good to put your local bookstore out of business, it's also great at making up for your bad parenting.

The commercial stars former Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson and does America the great service of featuring a pair of football boots as the item delivered to this suburban neighborhood. In the video, we learn that Amazon Prime Air, as the company is calling it, will be able to deliver product in 30 minutes or less to your home. Which is great, because now we may not even need to do that awkward shuffle down the hall to retrieve toilet paper when it runs out and no one else is home. We can just have an Amazon drone fly into the bathroom and plop a roll in our laps. (Listen, I'm just extrapolating that the "sense and avoid technology" outlined in this Amazon drone commercial is good enough to navigate through my front door and past my sense of embarrassment.)

In somewhat disappointing news, it turns out that these Amazon drones aren't yet approved for active duty. The Federal Aviation Administration is still finalizing its drone policy, which we hope includes some kind of regulation against the delivery of kittens via drone. Because the last thing I need is kitten-dropping drones flying overhead to set my dog off. She's already pretty fired up about hot air balloons.

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