Seeing Lionel Messi dive is about as rare as seeing the Argentine pick up a red card. It might happen from time to time, but not enough for anyone to legitimately call Messi a flopper.

Don’t tell that to 36-year-old referee Clement Turpin, who officiated Barcelona’s Champions League match against Borussia Dortmund on Wednesday at the Camp Nou.

Tuesday’s Champions League Group A encounter between Real Madrid and PSG at the Santiago Bernabéu was pretty much meaningless. Both teams entered the match with Round of 16 qualification secured, and even a Real victory would do little to wrest top spot from PSG due to the Parisians’ perfect record thus far.

When Cristiano Ronaldo joined Juventus, he immediately became the team’s No. 1 free-kick taker, despite the fact the Old Lady already had a couple world-class free kick takers. 

Ronaldo has proven himself to be one of the best at spot kicks, but the numbers show he hasn’t brought that prowess with him to Italy. 

It was a surreal moment on Saturday when Gareth Bale entered Real Madrid’s 3-1 victory over Real Sociedad in the 67th minute to a torrent of boos and jeers from the Santiago Bernabéu. Los Blancos supporters are a notoriously demanding bunch — even Cristiano Ronaldo received his share of whistles inside the legendary stadium — but nothing comes close to the reception that Bale was given upon replacing 18-year-old Brazilian phenom Rodrygo.

Argentina’s 1-0 friendly victory over Brazil on Friday — thanks to Lionel Messi’s goal in the 13th minute — created quite the conversation on Twitter. From Messi telling Brazil manager Tite to shut up after he believed Messi should’ve been given a yellow card to penalty misses from both Gabriel Jesus and Messi, it was quite an entertaining match.

It’s happening with increasing swiftness: Spain’s golden generation is tiki-takaing out of existence. The latest to announce his retirement from the game is 37-year-old striker David Villa, who’ll call it quits in either December or January (depending on if Vissel Kobe can reach the final of the Emperor’s Cup).

Villa was a monster for Valencia, Barcelona, Sporting Gijón, Zaragoza and New York City FC, as well as the Spanish national team — although injury conspired against him for some of his generation’s finest moments. 

Four days ago, Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp ruled out a move for PSG’s Kylian Mbappé while lamenting the fact that no club could possibly afford the 20-year-old phenomenon. On Tuesday, Real Madrid reportedly said hold my beer and began preparing a $440 million bid for the World Cup winner.

This is a public service announcement to all LaLiga clubs not named Barcelona: 

Do not foul Barcelona anywhere near the goal. Lionel Messi will take the ensuing kick and he will score on you.

That is all.