Multiple reports have confirmed that Portugal and Real Madrid defender Pepe has had his soul dropped from Portugal’s 23-man Euro 2016 squad. Following the events of the Champions League final at the San Siro Stadium in Milan, it's been suggested that Pepe's conscience spirit has deserted him.
While the defender will be representing Portugal at Euro 2016 in body, it's anyone's guess as to where his soul might currently reside.
It’s believed that Pepe lost his soul following an encounter with Atletico Madrid’s Filipe Luis. Luis brushed the Portuguese’s left cheek, causing his incorporeal and immortal essence to fly from his being, leaving him writhing and rolling on the pitch in agony.
BT Sport’s Gary Lineker was the first to report on Pepe’s complete loss of morality, hinting at the possibility of his righteous spirit having departed.
Pepe is such a dick!
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) May 28, 2016
Lineker later went on to confirm Pepe’s footballing deal with the devil, ensuring that Pepe would participate in this summer’s European Championship without moral and spiritual principles.
Pepe is an enormous dick.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) May 28, 2016
By the end of the match, Pepe was parading around the pitch with a selfie stick, confirming to a global audience that his inner being had been well and truly lost.
Photo: @boringJoePatch | Twitter
There is no timetable for the return of Pepe’s soul. The judgements of referee Mark Clattenburg indicate that it might be a long time before Pepe is saved from his current state of existence. The one positive for Portugal is that the loss of Pepe's soul does free up some more room for Cristiano Ronaldo's ego.
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