Bitter Englishman: Don't Screw This Up, USA
The United States recently won the right to host the 2026 World Cup alongside Mexico and Canada — wait, Canada? That can’t be right. So the U.S. will host the 2026 World Cup and the Bitter Englishman just hopes they don’t screw it up.
This is America’s best chance to show the world they actually care about football — and not the pre-game kneeling, head-bashing kind either. The U.S. loves its soccer, or football, or whatever the hell you want to call it — I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
It will have been 32 years since the U.S. last hosted the World Cup when 2026 finally rolls around — assuming we survive as a species until then.
In 1994 Major League Soccer hadn’t yet been launched. By 2026 there will probably be about 45 teams at this current rate of growth. The teams and their fans are just as strong as any league outside Europe’s top few.
I just hope the U.S. can pull off a successful tournament, which will be the first ever with 48 teams. The stadiums will be fine and full of people drunk, but this will be Team America’s best chance ever to win a men’s World Cup.
Let me speak from experience as an Englishman: Unless you’re Brazil, you’ll never have a better chance of winning the World Cup than when it’s on home soil. And in eight years the U.S. will have the likes of Christian Pulisic, Timothy Weah, Josh Sargent, Tyler Adams and Weston McKennie in their primes.
So America, don’t mess it up. Go out there and win the damn trophy and show the world how much you care about soccer.