Oman and Bhutan played an Asian Cup qualifier Tuesday, with Oman winning 14-0. This is about as bad a beatdown as you can get in soccer, and we spent some time thinking about what went through the minds of the losing team.
The 14 Stages Of Losing 14-0
1. Oh no! The other team has scored! We must try to score also and tie the game!
2. Ah well, 2-0 is the most dangerous lead in soccer. We can do this boys!
3. We can still come back. Stranger things have happened.
4. OK let's just bunker and try to keep this as respectable as possible.
5. Well shit.
6. I think this other team might be better than us, boys.
7. Why are you running up the score like this?
8. (completely checks out of game)
9. I need to update my resume.
10. Where can I find new identities for me and my family?
11. Maybe some folks will take pity on me and give me some food.
12. God I just want this to be over.
13. This soccer game, but also life in general.
14. Like, that spider thing. I need that to happen. To mitigate the shame.
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