Guinness's Quest To Rule The Soccer World

When the Men in Blazers start the part of their podcast that actually discusses soccer, they always say “to the football!” Then there’s a clink and a hisssssss.

The Men in Blazers are pouring themselves a pint o’ Guinness, which they have every podcast. This is because, like many soccer fans, they love Guinness.

There’s more to it, though. Guinness is slowly, but surely, taking over the soccer universe. And it’s not just the taste or the fact that it’s made in Europe (sorry Ireland, but your beer is better than your soccer right now).

The Men in Blazers, on purpose or not, promote the hell out of Guinness’s brand to their legions of adoring fans. The Guinness Champion’s Cup was a big hit this summer, and they locked up North American sponsorship for five more years. Guinness’s parent company, Diageo, is trying to sponsor the Premier League (and let’s just say the name Guinness is more recognizable, and looks better on a logo, than the name Diageo.).

Why Guinness’s infatuation with soccer? And how has Guinness transformed itself from a niche beer for people who want to sound like beer snobs but don’t actually like the taste of beer, to the go-to beer for the world’s biggest game? We investigate.

Guinness has a lot of commonalities with soccer. It’s kind of snobbish (that “perfect pour” nonsense), and let’s face it, soccer fans are a bit snobbish, especially when it comes to interactions with non-soccer fans. We just can’t help it. Guinness can be savored, one pint can easily last a full 90 minute game. That bodes well for ordering one early in the morning while watching the (Guinness) Premier League. In fact, I like the name "Guinness Premier League" so much that I'm going to start calling it that.

This isn’t Guinness’s first foray into soccer. They sponsored Queen’s Park Rangers back in the ‘80s. Also, remember the old soccer six competition? That was fun wasn’t it? They also tried the “Guinness soccer variety pack” which featured Guinness and three other beers (so what was the point really?). Don’t forget the “Guinness World Cup 8 Pack,” or that you can buy Guinness soccer jerseys on their website.

This scenario was sort-of predicted in  “The Global Art of Soccer” by Richard Witzig, who said England vs. the USA matches might someday turn into “Guinness vs. Bud.” He might be half right, because at this rate it looks like it will be “Guinness vs. Guinness”

As a beer, Guinness’s quiet consistency and smoothness pair well with soccer. It’s always going to be there for you, even if your team isn’t.

I will confess a bias here: I love Guinness. I recently told someone that if I had to only drink one beer for the rest of my life, it would be Guinness.