What’s your opinion on Bob Bradley? Was he hired at Swansea City only as a beneficiary of American ownership? Is he talented but doomed to oversee the relegation of a Premier League side that thinks continuously selling its top talent equals stability?
Stop thinking. I’ll tell you what to think of him: he’s a genius. He’s a genius because Bradley, according to the BBC, is targeting 35-year-old existentialist Dimitar Berbatov.
Dimitar Berbatov reportedly returning to the Premier League... any excuse to... https://t.co/6Rce2eI5GX by #GunnersAFC via @c0nvey
— godwin udobot (@UdobotGodwin) November 3, 2016
Berbatov spent last season in Greece, studying the works of Zeno of Citium and Diogenes of Sinope while occasionally turning out for Superleague side PAOK.
Berbatov’s now a free agent, although he prefers the term cafe patron. You often hear the term ‘dog fight’ thrown around when used to describe the relegation battle, but Bradley knows that bringing KONGs full of peanut butter is the quickest way to end a doggie quarrel.
In this metaphor, Berbatov is the peanut butter — he’s smooth and creamy like a jar of Skippy. He’s unperturbed by the madness around him and by the pack of cigarettes he smoked before the match — he’s transformed sloth from one of the seven deadly sins to the standard of striking excellence.
Former #MUFC and #THFC striker Dimitar Berbatov is on Swansea City's "radar"' says Bob Bradley. https://t.co/FdQhERzE97
— Spreadex Sports (@SpreadexSport) November 3, 2016
“I have met Dimitar a few times and I know he is anxious to get back into the Premier League,” said Bradley, undoubtedly using the wrong word choice when describing him as ‘anxious’.
Bradley’s looking for players who can assert themselves and deal with key moments in matches. Berbatov's looking for a place to express his individual freedom while emphasizing the human condition as one of fleeting mortality. This sounds like a match made in heaven.
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