The World Cup is more than just a sporting institution. It’s a guide to leading a better life. The18 considers the most important lessons from the tournament so far:
1. It’s Good To Have Goals In Life…
The group stage of Brazil 2014 has been a glorious festival of football, due in no small part to the much increased number of goals. After all, Banging G’s (hat-tip: Deuce, a.k.a. Clint Dempsey) is what it’s all about, and the 136 scored thus far is already comparable to the total for the whole of South Africa 2010 (145) and Germany 2006 (147). At an average of 2.83 goals per game, Brazil is well on course to surpass France 98’s record tally of 171, but still a long way shy of the all-time goals per game record: a whopping 5.38 G’s were banged in Switzerland 1954 (though we suspect they called them something a little more gentlemanly).
2. …But They’re Not Essential
Greece required a paltry two goals to escape Group C, only one of which came from open play. That the Greeks haven’t been free-scoring isn’t a surprise: in their ten qualification games, two against Liechtenstein, they racked up a feeble 12 strikes. They’ll need to find their shooting boots if they’re to progress any further.
3. However Low Your Expectations, You Can Always Be Disappointed
It was noted elsewhere on these hallowed pages that England supporters placed little hope in their World Cup chances, but few thought Brazil would represent England’s worst performance in 56 years: three games, two goals, one point. While only 3% of respondents to an IPSOS MORI poll thought England would win the whole tournament, a full 84% thought they would at least escape Group D.
4. If You Can’t Stand The Heat….
…don’t play in Manaus. Of the eight teams who competed in the stifling heat of the Amazon, only one (Portugal) managed to not lose their following game. Switzerland played their last match of the group stage at the Arena da Amazonia; we’ll have to wait until their final 16 game against Argentina to see whether they too can break the curse of the jungle.
5. Age Is Just A Number
At 43, Faryd Mondragon became the oldest player to ever appear in a World Cup following his substitute appearance against Japan. The Colombian goalkeeper, who represented his country at USA ’94 and France ’98 before returning in Brazil, overtakes the legendary Roger Milla to claim the World Cup’s geriatric crown. Which is all well and good, but can he dance?
6. Learn From Your Mistakes
2010: Luis Suarez is banned for seven matches after biting an opponent
2013: Luis Suarez is banned for ten matches after biting an opponent
2014: Luis Suarez is banned for nine matches and four months after biting an opponent
As Albert Einstein once quipped, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Take note, Luis.
