Since the beginning of time humanity has sought to cover its dirty bits.
From sewing fig-leaves together and crafting loin-cloths in the Garden of Eden to oozing swagger in a turtleneck and chain combo, humankind has always been on an insatiable quest to combine the elements of decency and drip.
However, these pieces might fit right, feel good and come at an affordable price, but do they do enough to support your viewpoint on how implementing promotion and relegation throughout the American soccer pyramid would win us the 2026 World Cup?
As an American säkər media company, we’re in a unique position to provide for you. We only accept checks — please make them out to Connor Fleming.
#1. AMERICAN HERE!
Whether it’s dominating the social media discussion or the actual pitch (although probably the former), say it loud and proud!
#2. Go-To Pub Shirt
Catch me at the pub, explaining away goals to whoever I convinced to come with me this time.
#3. The MLS Is On The Rise
The MLS has always been looked at as a retirement league, but those thoughts will immediately be retired in the minds of individuals who gaze upon this shirt celebrating The MLS Soccer League.
#4. The Cultured Ultra
The shirt for anyone that studied in London and took a weekend trip to Barcelona and knows that the Premier League is the best but Barça is Messi que un club.
#5. It's A Simple Rule Really
Sorry VAR, but that’s offsides!
#6. USA Phenoms Only
The future is US! I’m right because I can’t possibly be wrong yet.
#7. The Creation Of Chelsea
And God said, “Let there be a 14-game unbeaten streak.”
#8. The ReALest Clásico
For when LaLiga implements a 39th game to be staged abroad.
#9. The Blockbuster Deal
Let them know how your club acquired and lost Kei Kamara in the same season.
