Five Telltale Signs You Fit The Soccer Mom Stereotype

There is no shame in embracing who you truly are.

Soccer moms are one of the biggest clichés in the youth sporting world. We all know a Karen that is extremely over the top about her child becoming the next Alex Morgan or Lionel Messi. There are several other dead giveaways that reveal a true soccer mom. Here are five signs that you fit the soccer mom stereotypes.

Five Soccer Mom Stereotypes: Signs That You’re A Soccer Mom

1. Half of your gas money is spent on driving your kid to practice and games

It’s not your fault that the other teams your child’s team plays just so happen to be spread out across the entire state. Either way your gas tank never sits full for more than a day because the world of soccer calls, whether its practice again or a game four hours away.

2. You drive a minivan or a Buick

You either drive the aging family minivan from 2002 or a 2025 Buick, there is no in-between. In order to successfully caravan the other kids and equipment no sports cars or fancy-mobiles will do the job. Be sure to get the kids on time though, or else you are a coach’s worst nightmare: Caravan Karen.

3. Your house has the faint odor of shin guards at all times

You’ve tried everything. Lighting candles, putting the shin guards outside and washing them in the washing machine. The Febreze commercials can go ahead and shut up because there is no odor more powerful than a developing child’s shin sweat. You be sure to never host any events at your house to save the guests from being subjected to the stink pit.

4. Sunglasses, all day, every day

The one fashion staple of a true soccer mom is sunglasses. Is it to protect your eyes from the sun or hide the bags underneath them? Only you will know. No one can ever read the true intentions of a soccer mom with the sunglasses on.

5. You’re ready to throw hands with the referee at any moment

Now I’m not saying that you have brass knuckles in the back of the minivan, but if that linesman has the audacity to call offside one more time there’s going to be a problem. Not to mention the fact that your child has been fouled 15 times in this game and the referee hasn’t called it once. That bubbling rage toward referees trying to make a couple bucks is the fire and intensity that lives in all soccer moms.

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