Gareth Bale Is Just Living The Good Life, Prepping For Retirement At 30, Blissfully Ignorant Of All Around Him

Gareth Bale is still in the midst of a never-ending transfer saga at Real Madrid, but his focus isn’t on where he might be playing next.

Nor is Bale focusing on his play on the field.

Gareth Bale, 30, is mostly worried about what he’s going to do when he retires — golf and going unnoticed.

Speaking to The Telegraph, as reported by Marca because it’s behind a paywall, Bale said he’s quite enjoying his life in Spain, where he’s been in and out of the Real Madrid lineup the last couple seasons. 

“(I) feel very happy living here (in Madrid), the lifestyle, culture, food, weather,” Bale said. “My family’s very settled.”

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Alas, all good things must come to an end, so the former Tottenham left back — now ancient at 30 — is starting to think about life after football. Bale was asked about retirement and said he wants to spend it “on a golf course.” 

“I haven’t thought about retirement too much, but I’m 30 and you have to turn your attention to it,” Bale said astutely. “I’m trying to set things up so I have things to do rather than just sitting on my sofa.”

But retirement would likely bring about a return to the UK for Bale, a Wales international. Fortunately, Bale has been keeping close tabs on British politics.

“I don’t read most of the nonsense; I genuinely don’t know 99 percent of Brexit,” Bale said sagaciously. “I don’t even know who the prime minister is anymore. I haven’t got a clue.”

Bale’s focus has been on the important things.

“I follow the golf; that’s about it,” he said. “I can tell you who’s No. 1 in the world.”

Bale’s approach to soccer is refreshing like President Trump’s approach to running the United States. Both are blissfully ignorant of the job they’re tasked with, instead more interested in playing golf. 

Unlike Trump, however, Bale would rather not be recognized at other sporting venues

“I’d rather no one recognized me after my career,” Bale said. “People have their own preferences, but I’d rather just decline away. I don’t want to keep promoting myself. When I finish I want a relaxed, quieter life.”

One former Real Madrid player, Mesut Özil, would certainly agree with that assessment of declining away, as he’s already started that process while at Arsenal. 

Fortunately, Bale has paid attention to life off the golf course in one area: money. How else will he pay for his golf addiction?

“I look in terms of stuff financially, because (Brexit) affects me in a certain way for investments or money,” Bale said, clearly familiar with what he’s talking about.

Really wise stuff from the old man and a lesson to all you young readers: financial stuff is important. This, of course, is assuming you have money to invest, which you probably don’t. (Let’s be real here, you probably have the opposite: mountains of student debt piling up inexorably.) 

What’s next for Gareth Bale? Real Madrid plays a midweek match against Leganes on Wednesday at the Bernabeu. But don’t be surprised if Bale’s mind is elsewhere, wistfully daydreaming of a time when life slows down and he can enjoy the simple things of wasting his fortune on the golf course.

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