Cristiano Ronaldo’s Pestana CR7 hotel has opened in Lisbon, and, in the timeless words of Chingy, one thing leading to another let the party begin.
The Pestana CR7 Lisboa offers “total digital comfort, premium rooms and service, as well as a sophisticated ambience to spend a few days with a difference in a true CR7 lifestyle.”
"Come and play with me. Forever...and ever." Photo: @MZse7en | Twitter
What’s this all mean? It means the elevators have floors named after the years of Ronaldo’s playing career, fool!
You'd think this would break some sort of fire code. Photo: @RealMadridPST | Twitter
Were you born with a silver spoon or have you amassed a personal fortune in line with the true CR7 lifestyle? You’re on floor 2016 — that’s the year of European Championship glory, a UEFA Champions League title and a probable Ballon d’Or. That's the penthouse suite.
Are you some sad sack that’s going to struggle to pony up the $225 necessary to stay the night? You know your broke a** is going to be staying on 2006, the year Ronaldo was told to “go crying to your daddy” by Ruud van Nistelrroy, was involved in that incident with Wayne Rooney and publicly asked for a transfer.
Every room in the hotel comes equipped with WiFi, 48’’ TV’s with Apple TV installed, PlayStations and they’re in the true Art Deco style of luxury, glamour and exuberance.
Let the hate flow through you. Photo: @CITmagazine | Twitter
All of this “to appease a younger market” that wants to be “on top of the world’s sports, fashion and lifestyle events.”
“When I was young I had the dream of having my own hotel,” said Ronaldo. “Now I have two, and I am proud it is in Lisbon.”
A further two hotel openings are set to follow in Madrid and New York. According to Forbes, Donald Trump has seven “condo hotels” under development. The race is well and truly on.
“Life is not just about football,” said Ronaldo. “Although football is my grand passion, I must start to think about the future. I don’t have many years left, about 10 more or less, so I must look to the future.”
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