Today Zlatan Ibrahimovic turns 33, the same age as Jesus. Not that I am suggesting there is a connection, even though I wrote an article championing that very idea two days ago.
If Zlatanism is, in fact, a new religion, today is its holy day.
To commemorate Ibra’s 33rd birthday, French club Toulouse, against whom Zlatan has scored five times in four games, sent the PSG star a congratulatory letter and some presents.
The presents included some balm for his heel, two Toulouse jerseys with his children’s names on them, and a shoot-em-up video game. This got me thinking, what else did Zlatan get for his birthday?
From The18: A copy of his own biography, “I am Zlatan” (alternative title: The Bible, not that I am suggesting anything).
From Ajax: A CD-mix that’s just “Baby Come Back” by Player over and over and over again.
From Pep Guardiola: A number 9 “Suarez” Barcelona jersey.
From Sweden: Some kind of medal.
From UEFA President Michael Platini: A $25,000 watch, along with a note saying “If you could hold onto this for a bit that would get the ethics committee off my back be a birthday present of some sort. Yes. That’s it."
From his agent: A copy of FIFA 2002 with a note that reads, “I WE really made a lot of money on that one didn’t I WE Zlatan?”
Here’s to another 33. Long live Zlatan.
Follow Sam Klomhaus on twitter @SamKlomhaus
