100 Schoolchildren Steamroll Dundee FC Using 33-33-33 Formation

The Gegenpress got together with Total Football and gave birth to 100 children before dispatching them in a 33-33-33 formation for a 24-minute friendly against Scotland’s Dundee FC on Thursday. After six minutes of prematch handshakes, the latest footballing ideology smashed the opposition 5-2.

“I’m just delighted for my young team,” said manager Neil McCann. “We attacked in numbers and defended in numbers. You can’t ask for any more than that. I set them out to attack as a 99. I went for a 33-33-33 formation and I think it worked a treat…I’m delighted with everybody and I think it’s tough to pick a man of the match.”

Roy Hodgson’s two rigid banks of four is clearly not as primitive as many suggested, the tactic just needs to be invigorated with the addition of 29 more players to both the defensive and midfield blocks.