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Entertainment

What If Europe Had Bowls Like College Football? It Would Be Dumb And Look Something Like This

When not disrupted by big daddy Omicron, college football bowl season is one of the greatest times of the year. There’s something about your team playing hundreds of miles away against a random opponent with an even more random brand slapped on to the name that brings so much joy. Who doesn’t love the Dollar General Bowl?

What if this wonderful season of sport was transferred to European club soccer? We could see magnificent spectacles like this in Europe if we went through with this idea.

I wrote a similar story to this two years ago which I was informed was a “stupid article.” Maybe second time is the charm.

The Totally Real European Bowl Schedule

Qatar Airways Bowl
May 27
Lyon vs. Real Sociedad

Monaco Bowl
May 28
Monaco vs. Lazio

Wembley Bowl
May 28
England vs. Its Fans

Saudi Arabia Bowl
May 28
Newcastle vs. Sheffield United

Pepsi Bowl
May 28
Sporting Portugal vs. Club Brugge

Bowlon d’Or
May 28
Manchester United vs. PSG

FIFA Bowl
May 29
Money vs. Morals

Lays Potato Chip Bowl
May 29
Sheriff vs. Benfica

Volkswagen Bowl
May 29
Wolfsburg vs. Galatasaray

Red Bull Bowl
May 29
Red Bull Salzburg vs. Red Bull Leipzig

TikTok Bowl
May 30
Spartak Moscow vs. Zenit

Overcast Bowl
May 30
Celtic vs. Rangers 

Visit Rwanda Bowl
May 30
Arsenal vs. Wydad Casablanca

CR7 Underwear Bowl
May 31
Sevilla vs. Ajax

Super League Bowl
May 31
Real Madrid vs. Juventus

Relegation Bowl
June 1
Norwich vs. Greuther Fürth

It’s Called Soccer Bowl
June 1
LA Galaxy vs. New England Revolution (But they’re not European! Yeah, and this list ain’t real either)

Firing Manager Bowl
June 1
Barcelona vs. Tottenham

June Year’s Six Bowl Games

Heineken Bowl
May 30
Manchester City vs. Bayern Munich

Gucci Bowl
May 31
Napoli vs. Atlético Madrid

Full English Bowl
May 31
Chelsea vs. Liverpool

Poppy Bowl
June 1
Leicester City vs. Lille

Spaghetti Bowl
June 1
AC Milan vs. Inter Milan

Ibiza Bowl
June 1
Porto vs. Borussia Dortmund

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