The alarm clock sounds — it’s your favorite tune, “Macarena” by Los del Rio. You get dressed and admire your floppy hair and manicured beard. As you drive to the stadium, the anger in your belly slowly grows stronger. 

You take to the pitch and wait for the whistle, just about ready to unleash your rage. Your opponents become victims to your endless tackles, kicks, grabs and taunts. 

Paul Pogba played his first game back at Old Trafford Friday, so let's talk about Zlatan.

Zlatan is a problem. He has three goals in two games in the Premier League so far, and he looks like the best player in the league so far. Look at this header.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic breaks through for @ManUtd! #PLonNBC https://t.co/VVQFJlY620

Jurgen Klopp is the most delightful manager in the Premier League and here's why:

From the BBC:

"Alberto could have done better but I don't really understand what we are talking about," Klopp said.

"I cannot be interested in criticism from other people."

"Before winning the 2012-13 league title, we were getting ready to play against Lyon," Marco Verratti said. "Carlo Ancelotti was a bit tense, so Ibra approached him and asked him if he believed in Jesus. Ancelotti said yes, so Ibra told him: 'Good, so you believe in me. You can relax!' Zlatan is like this.”

Verratti’s little story is as good as any when used to describe the kind of figure that Zlatan Ibrahimovic is. 

Not long ago, Aston Villa Chairman Dr. Tony Xia tweeted that he thinks Villa can be a top club in Europe and have the "highest number of fans all over the world."

Well, that's certainly a bold goal, but maybe it isn't as far-fetched as we think. After all, maybe this Dr. Tony guy really knows what he's doing, and maybe we should all just try to be optimistic and—