With just a few weeks remaining in the 2017-18 Premier League season, we are quickly winding down towards one of the most anticlimactic final days of all-time. If Tottenham collapse, Chelsea might yet play themselves into the top four, and Southampton could still manage to avoid the drop — just look at what Newcastle have accomplished over the last four games.

The best party is the one that sneaks up on you like a Jay Rodriguez goal in the 73rd minute. West Brom 1, Man United nil. Sheikh Mansour and the rest of Man City ownership were on cloud nine.

I was on my hands and knees inside a walk-in freezer 40,000 feet above sea level, searching for a cake that never had a good chance of being consumed. 

Until Rodriguez struck, West Brom parked the bus and the stomach grumbles of UAE's dignitaries called for an ice cream cake frosted City blue. 

Here it is, the most fitting visual representation of Monday you’ll ever find. Friday was all smiles, cheers and waves (especially if you just touched down in Nashville to celebrate a bachelor party), and then Monday violently appeared only moments later — blasting you in the face with a jet stream of tepid sewage water. 

You were lost in the sauce, but now it’s time to wake up and reap what’ve you’ve sown. Monday's coming in hot. 

Wolverhampton Wanderers were in League One almost four years ago. Fast forward to today, and they are on the verge of securing a return to the Premier League. How did a club, which was relegated from the Premier League (2011-12 season) and the Championship (2012-13 season) in consecutive years, manage to steady the ship and get itself back on track?

Two words: Jorge. Mendes. Yes, the Jorge Mendes, who is the agent of Cristiano Ronaldo and Jose Mourinho. It is quite a murky situation in terms of what Mendes’ role at Wolves actually is.