The Premier League returns this weekend with the marquee matchup of the opening round of fixtures being Arsenal vs Manchester City at the Emirates Stadium in London. Without waxing too lyrical, it’s an encounter between the most aesthetically pleasing side in the division and a club desperate to return to that echelon. 

How fast is Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang? The FIFA video game ratings aren’t infallible, but when the fine folks at EA Sports say that Aubameyang is the fastest footballer on the planet with a pace rating of 96, well, they’re trying to tell us something — namely that he’s an excellent option to send a through ball towards and pray.

Thibaut Courtois hard-balled Chelsea on Monday with a preseason training absence. The 26-year-old Belgian goalkeeper has long been speculated to leave Chelsea for Real Madrid, and this stern message to new boss Maurizio Sarri might be the final trick.

Courtois just entered the final 12 months of his Chelsea contract, and with this no-show antic, his transfer might be imminent — to which club though?

Twitter didn’t take long to turn the whole ordeal into a circus of memes.

How fast is Mohamed Salah? The breakthrough player of the 2017-18 European club season combined his speed and dribbling skills with a newfound confidence in front of goal to devastating effect last year, scoring 44 goals and adding 14 assists in 52 matches. Deployed on the right-hand side of Liverpool’s feared front three, Salah and teammate Sadio Mane are two of the quickest footballers on the planet.

Paul Pogba is one of the most famous footballers on the planet. He plays at perhaps the biggest club in the world and just won the World Cup with France. But Paul Pogba’s religion might be his most defining characteristic.

Pogba stands out on a pitch. Whether it’s unique hairstyles, uncommon flair on the ball or endless dabbing, the 6-3 midfielder is one of the most recognizable players in the world. He set the all-time transfer fee record in 2016 when he joined Manchester United, where he plays in front of tens of thousands in person and millions worldwide. 

The FA Community Shield doesn’t count for much. Last season, Arsenal won it thanks to contributions from Theo Walcott, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Olivier Giroud. Not one of those players was even at the club come February. We can, however, surmise from the 2018 edition that Manchester City is really good.

I think they earned the right to that plaudit last season.