Pulisic VS Your Mom

Christian Pulisic is the bright shining light of American soccer, but how does he stack up against your mom? Let’s take a closer look.

Intelligence: Who’s more than just a pretty face?

Christian Pulisic is Dortmund’s top provider this season with six assists, clearly demonstrating his high footballing IQ.

Your Mom is so dumb she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Edge: Pulisic

Physical Appearance: Who is more aesthetically pleasing?

Bitter Englishman: Hates MLS Ruining Young American Talent

When both Landon Donovan and Christian Pulisic are saying it — two of the only proper footballers America has ever produced — you need to listen.

Major League Soccer isn’t doing enough to help develop young talent in this country.

Sure, we all want to see a higher quality game in MLS, and an influx of aging European stars and young South American talent provides an immediate stopgap, but at what cost? Well, you could say it was missing the World Cup.