At the end of the day, we mere mortals don't have much in common with professional soccer players or their managers. They are paid exorbitant amounts of money for their athletic prowess, management capabilities, and general knowledge of soccer.
Meanwhile, we spew out world-class banter and groundless criticism while watching from our living room sofas. But, millionaires or not, these deities of soccer are often brought down to earth in much the same way we all are: they say something stupid.
So, in an attempt to humanize those that have more influence over us than we would care to mention, here are 12 moments of levity from the stars of soccer past and present - and from some soccer commentators as well. You know, just to spread the love.
Peter Crouch
Peter Crouch: Definitely not a virgin. Photo: @Daily_Express | Twitter
Reporter: “What would you be if you weren’t a footballer?”
Peter Crouch: “A virgin”
George Best
Left, Best's fiance at the time; Right, George Best: Also definitely not a virgin. Photo: @VintageFooty | Twitter
“I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds [women], and fast cars - the rest I just squandered.”
Gordon Strachan
This? This is the face of wisdom. Photo: @BBCSportScot | Twitter
After a loss: "I tried to get the disappointment out of my system by going for a walk. I ended up 17 miles from home and I had to phone my wife, Lesley to come and pick me up."
And here's another, because Gordon cannot be contained in one measely quote. It takes two, of course.
Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?"
Strachan: "What areas? Mainly that big green one out there..."
Sir Bobby Robson
Photo: @EveningChron | Twitter
“We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.”
At you majesty's service, indeed.
A Commentator On Metro Radio
Photo: @barcastuff | Twitter
“Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they have eleven Dicks on the field.”
Byron Butler
“Wilkins sends an inch perfect pass to no one in particular.”
Ian Rush
We can't imagine anything being hard when you have a mustache like that. Photo: @Liddelpool | Twitter
When the Englishman Rush was asked about the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: “It was like being in a foreign country.”
Joao Pinto
Left, Joao Pint: Taker of risks. Photo: @SLBVintage | Twitter
"Our team was on the edge of a cliff, but we managed to get our act together and take a step forward.”
To where, Joao? A step forward to where?!?
Chris Kamara
An expert at laughing at himself. Photo: @FourFourFeed | Twitter
We'll just let this video do the talking.
Brian Clough
Psychological Visionary. Photo: @VintageFooty | Twitter
To the physio after Stuart Pearce suffered a concussion in an FA Cup game:
“Tell him he’s Pele and that he’s playing up front for the last 10 minutes.”
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
"Do I look like I am joking?" Photo: @beINSPORTSUSA | Twitter
Reporter: “You’ve got some scars on your face, Zlatan. What has happened?”
Zlatan: “Well…I don’t know…you’ll have to ask your wife about that”
