Here's the thing: Artists don't know how to create a proper statue of a soccer player, or those who try are not very talented. I mean, there are far too many examples of baller tributes becoming absolute fiascos, with the classic Cristiano Ronaldo bust leading the way.
But it's not the only one. Just now, River Plate unveiled a bronze statue in honor of former player and coach Marcelo Gallardo and the result is far from optimal. Not only because the facial features are hard to match with the real human but also because the artist behind the work decided to leave a monumental bulge in his pants, as if nobody would notice it.
Check it out, but don't get too excited.
River Plate have unveiled a new statue of Marcelo Gallardo, which includes his most prized possession. pic.twitter.com/T49AOeQxtn— Daniel Edwards (@DanEdwardsGoal) May 27, 2023
What in the world!
Marcelo Gallardo statue bulge
Gallardo is a legend at River Plate. Beloved as a player and arguably the most successful coach in the club's history, fans love him to death and were sad after he decided to step aside from his duties last December in search of a new challenge, perhaps in Europe.
The idea of immortalizing his legacy has been around for a while and sculptor Mercedes Savall set to the task. After several months of work, the result was unveiled at River Plate's stadium on Saturday: a massive 22.9-foot and 6.3-ton piece of bronze in which you can see the coach holding the Copa Libertadores, a trophy he won three times (once as a player and twice as a coach).
Con ustedes. La estatua de Marcelo Gallardo. pic.twitter.com/oFU3av61Rw— SARITA (@sariskleit) May 27, 2023
Cool. But what about the bulge? The artist was a little sly in answering the question, but it's all about the sexist idea that in order to achieve big wins, you need to have a pair of big balls.
"Soccer is this and the statue is soccer language. Let's leave it here so fans can enjoy it more," Savall said about her pièce de résistance.
And supporters have indeed been enjoying the convo online with plenty of jokes about Gallardo, who is known as El Muñeco (The Doll). They are even comparing his balls to the famous balls on the Bull of Wall Street.
El Toro de Wall Street paso a ser la 2da estatua con los genitales más grandes del mundo luego de la presentación de la estatua de Gallardo pic.twitter.com/9n2qeUOssZ— LBT14 ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (@RiverTablon) May 28, 2023
Let's hope people don't get handsy, but we all know they will.