During a Russian National Student League match between Rubin Kazan and Cheboksary, Kazan’s Norik Avdalyan blatantly ripped off a penalty technique that I invented. Inspired by Columbine’s Dylan Prichett-Ettner, I’ve been working on incorporating flipping into my every action on the pitch in a painstaking process that, up until this point, I’ve wholeheartedly trusted in.
But somehow a Kremlin spy has witnessed my actions and informed Russian students of my groundbreaking attempts to redefine the game, much like how I was inventing “The Seal Dribble” before that was stolen from me by Kerlon.
Back to the drawing board.
