Jose Mourinho Says Buying Neymar Would Be Like Breaking Into A Safe

Jose Mourinho accidentally let slip a lack of knowledge concerning pop culture and heists while talking about the possibility of Manchester United signing Neymar. I'll explain.

Mourinho's quote, from ESPNFC:

"A club like Barcelona can not and will not lose Neymar. Although Messi is still a young player with years ahead of him, he's almost 30, and Neymar will be the great player of Barcelona post-Messi. So much that I think it [trying to sign Neymar] is like trying to break into a safe, impossible."

This tells me a few things. First, Jose Mourinho has not seen Ocean's 11, or Fast Five, or The Italian Job, or any movie that features a safe being opened.

Second, Jose Mourinho is not aware of the existence of Youtube. There are a ton of videos on there that will teach you how to open a safe.

Third, Jose Mourinho has no imagination outside of various untried soccer tactics.

Conclusion: Jose Mouinho has never robbed a bank and that will continue to be true in the future. He would probably try to break into a safe by hitting it with a stick, like the guy in the stock photo above.


Maybe he's planning a heist and is trying to throw us all off the scent! He's a crafty one, that Mourinho. I'm on to you, bud.


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