Entertainment

Dear Chelsea, You Have Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen

By Yousef Alshammari April 5, 2018
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From their fifth EPL title to fifth place, there’s trouble in paradise between Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich and coach Antonio Conte.
@transfercenlive | Twitter

Back in February, it was the humiliating 4-1 loss to Watford that was deemed the low point of Antonio Conte’s stewardship of Chelsea FC, but on Easter Sunday, Chelsea conceded a 3-1 defeat at Stamford Bridge to Tottenham — Spurs’ first victory at the Bridge in 28 years. 

It’s one that will surely define the spiraling Conte era in Chelsea history. The bitter loss led to Chelsea falling out of the top four race, a failure Conte will not face alone. Along with their Italian manager, Chelsea’s hierarchy is rumored to have had fallout with a number of its players — a mistake that might take seasons to right, and a mistake that isn’t Conte’s alone. 

During the match against Tottenham, now eight points ahead of Chelsea, the Blues scored early through Alvaro Morata. Everything went downhill after that. 

From possession to shots on target to Conte’s ridiculous substitutions, the Blues had less chance winning than the Teletubbies having their own live-action movie. In what was rumored to be a deviant move against Roman Abramovich’s tight grip on Conte’s plans, the former Juventus coach showed little to no managerial prowess in the battle for fourth place. A grave mistake. 

Tottenham crushed Chelsea on the pitch, and fighting spirit was really only shown outside of the ground. 

The relationship between Abramovich and Conte, with speculation that the Russian owner leaves little space for managerial freedom, is now deadlocked with more on the line than $18 million (Conte’s rumored buyout clause): Chelsea’s future. 

The animosity toward Conte by the Russian billionaire comes with good reason as the chances of qualifying for the Champions League next season seem dimmer than ever, with only the FA cup to focus on. Can you say Manchester United? And they say the ancient low blow technique is dead, hah! 

Unsurprisingly, this isn’t a new thing for Chelsea. Former coaches Felipe Scolari and Andre Villas-Boas were both sacked when UCL entry was lost. What’s so distressing this time is Abramovich’s refusal to pay Conte his $18 million and the possible loss of several great players. It’s like accompanying a gangrene-ridden friend to the doctor only to hear that you’re the one receiving an amputation; it doesn’t make sense to hurt the players.

Ironically, English news agencies reported that Massimiliano Allegri, the Juventus manager who has a contract with the Serie A dominators until 2020, is Chelsea’s top prospect as manager. The Mr. Burns cosplayer also said he’ll be managing outside of Italy in his next job. 

If Allegri does become coach, that would mean he’d be the fifth Italian to manage Chelsea under the Abramovich regime alongside Conte, Carlo Ancelotti, Claudio Ranieri and Roberto Di Matteo. Maybe Italian coaches are great, maybe Abramovich has a thing for middle-aged Italian men, who knows? 

“Certainly I will go abroad,” Allegri said. “In Italy, finished.” 

But the problem isn’t the Yoda phonetics, it’s who else might be leaving. In this case, prominent Chelsea players. 

Real Madrid has already set its sights on both Eden Hazard and Thibaut Courtois, especially since the Belgian winger declared his departure would be definite if the Champions League is out of the question. It kind of is, and Chelsea only has six more matches to prove otherwise — a renaissance only imaginable if Spurs go “Spursy.” Then again, Tottenham shouldn’t be underestimated, and it’s hard not to underestimate Chelsea as is. 

Along with the Belgian duo, Chelsea may very well lose David Luiz, who’s recently been both injured and sidelined. Luiz is on the final year of his contract along with Gary Cahill, Cesc Fabregas and Olivier Giroud. Also, Kurt Zouma and Michy Batshuayi have told reporters they’re only interested in Stoke and Borussia Dortmund (where they’re on loan, respectively) unless they get starting positions. 

Oh, you think eight players gone is no biggie, do you? Well, how about nine? Yes, nine, as Alvaro Morata, reportedly pummeled by Conte’s pressure on him, might want out. Morata has scored 14 goals in his debut season with Chelsea and the former Madridista cost the club a record $91.6 million with his signing last summer. 

However, if Allegri jumps in, Morata would be a major weapon in Chelsea’s recovery period next season. His header alone against Tottenham screams no hope lost for the Blues. 

Despite all the possible happenings that we’ve discussed so far, the biggest cause to Chelsea’s troubled times is simple: You can’t have two chefs in one kitchen. Antonio Conte cannot excel in the long run, as he did in the short run with an EPL triumph during his first season with Chelsea, because Abramovich is just as charismatically stubborn.

One is a Juventus legend who on his first managerial job took Bari FC to the Serie B title in 2009 and then took three Serie A titles with Juventus, not to mention five Serie A titles and a CL title when he was a player. The other is a James Bond villain and billionaire who is, like all club owners, essentially a businessman fixated on success. Abramovich was also the inspiration behind Uri Omovich, the Russian soccer club owner and gangster in Guy Ritchie’s Rocknrolla.

If Conte ever reported Chelsea’s loss to Abramovich in person, then it probably sounded like Gennaro Gattuso in this video: 

Chelsea, despite Abramovich and Conte’s mismatch, have one plausible solution so far and that is to hire Allegri. If Allegri is hired, surely the same man who’s taking Juventus on another Serie A title ride will ensure players will stay and, most importantly, attract players who won’t disappoint — players who’ll work just as hard as Morata so that Chelsea has a functional, winning team again. 

On the other hand, the ordeal of having another chef, a rich character like Allegri, might prove disastrous once again. In that case, we might see Chelsea enter a period of uncharacteristic turmoil, something like West Ham at the moment. 

Allegri will survive under Abramovich and thrive with Chelsea if he feigns death whenever the Russian tiger steps into the conversation and if he builds a winning machine out of Chelsea. Other than that, Abramovich will most likely treat the managers hired as his dispensable workers, because that’s ultimately what they are. Even if they are soccer legends and absolutely know what they’re doing. 

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