Neymar is hurt. It’s awful; the world’s most exciting player could miss a month or two with an ankle sprain and fractured foot. But we’ve got a Neymar injury update for you: We don’t think he’s actually all that injured.
Neymar went down late in a comfortable 3-0 win over Marseille on Sunday, stretchered off like a valiant warrior who died on the pitch. But Neymar did not make a heroic return. Instead reports soon surfaced that he would spend a significant amount of time on the sideline, meaning he would miss the titanic second leg of PSG’s Champions League Round of 16 tie against Real Madrid on March 6.
But this injury follows a suspicious trend, one that has not gone unnoticed by conspiracy theorists. Cue the X-Files theme.
Neymar has a history of being injured or unavailable around March 11. What is significant about March 11? Well, besides being the Day of Restitution of Independence of Lithuania from the Soviet Union, a date I’m sure we all recognize with solemn tribute each year, it’s the birthday of one Rafaella Beckran, Neymar’s sister. Neymar has a tattoo of Rafaella and the two are extremely close.
Neymar has a tattoo of his sister because that’s normal sibling behavior. Photo: @EdenDassidy | Twitter
Year after year, Neymar is mysteriously hurt in early March. Plenty of people have their own theories.
FACT: Neymar will now have missed a game on 11th March for FOUR consecutive years:
14/15: Suspended
15/16: Suspended
16/17: Injury
17/18: Injury...the same day as his sister's birthday. pic.twitter.com/kMP6biMZwP
— SPORF (@Sporf) February 27, 2018
Neymar will run 3000 kilometers like flash, jump around 7 mountains, perform stunts that gymnasts can't and score flying headers. But every year around this time, a cube of Maggi on the floor can give him an injury that will keep him away until his sisters birthday. This guy.
— Umeh and 99 others (@UmehOMA) February 28, 2018
Rafaella: Irmão you're not gonna leave me alone on my birthday this year are you?
Neymar: But babe, I got Champions League, we need to pull off this Real Madrid comebackRafaella: I'm lonely and I need help with this bottle of wine pic.twitter.com/RlND7lfzKO
— Aaron West (@ayyy_west) February 28, 2018
So, with March 11 coming up shortly, the entire footballing world is focused on a Neymar injury that stems from an innocuous ankle roll. Neymar’s dad and agent says he’ll miss six to eight weeks. The Brazilian national team wants him to have surgery on his fractured fifth metatarsal immediately to ensure he’s healthy for the World Cup. PSG wants him to hold off on any procedures in hopes he can help them rally from a 3-1 deficit against Real Madrid.
But maybe this is all a ruse. Maybe he’s just putting on a show so he can skip the March 10 match against Metz and maybe another match or two to have a proper birthday party and celebration with Rafaella. He reportedly told Lionel Messi that he would play against Real Madrid on March 6.
It seems plausible he’ll heroically gut through the pain and play against Real Madrid then take a month off to celebrate the birth of his sister and then return whenever is convenient.
No one, not even Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane, wants to see Neymar spend time on the sidelines nursing an injury. Let’s hope our next Neymar injury update confirms suspicions that he’s just milking a sprained ankle to spend time with his sister.
Then again, we could be wrong.
Medical update on @neymarjr
— PSG English (@PSG_English) February 28, 2018
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