Sadly, Harry Maguire Will Not Appear On The £50 Note

For some reason, Britain is going in a different direction.

Despite thousands of signatures mustered in support, we won’t be seeing a Harry Maguire 50 pound note anytime soon. 

I know, very sad.

Last month, with the Bank of England decided it would introduce a new design for the £50 note. Spearheaded by soccer writer Jonny Gabriel, a campaign quickly picked up steam to put a picture of Harry Maguire, shirtless, riding an inflatable unicorn, on the £50 note. 

Of course, this was all very tongue-in-cheek, but you couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of a shirtless footballer riding the only thing less real than England’s World Cup hopes on a very official piece of money.

Unfortunately for all us unicorn lovers (or fans of Leicester City’s Player of the Season, or England’s “Slabhead” defender), the Bank of England announced on Friday it would put a scientist of some sort on the £50 note, quashing the dreams of a Harry Maguire 50 pound note. 

Gabriel didn’t take it well.

Fortunately, a great number of brilliant scientists have called Great Britain home over the centuries. You’ve got the virgin Isaac Newton, the Simpsons regular Stephen Hawking, Mike Pence's least-favorite scientist Charles Darwin, the brilliant Ada Lovelace or, my personal favorite, the impossibly genius mathematician Srinivasa Ramanujan, British by virtue of his native India being under Crown rule during his life. Newton appeared on £1 notes for a decade. 

You can vote for all your favorite scientists, but just don’t go trying to prove Maguire is in anyway scientific. After all, he rides a unicorn, and all good scientists know those went extinct long ago. 

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