Cristiano Ronaldo's Life Is Basically An Alexandre Dumas Novel

Cristiano Ronaldo has been WRONGED. By the SYSTEM. Cruelly banished from four La Liga matches for the minor offense of pushing a referee, Ronaldo will not allow himself to be broken so easily.

Ronaldo tweeted his displeasure at his UNFAIR sentence.


A formerly bright hero wrongly wronged by powerful forces in the justice systerm, this is shaping up to resemble a tale by the French master of drama and romance, Alexandre Dumas.

But how will it end for our plucky hero? Will the unfortunate Ronaldo return from his unwarranted banishment and lay waste to his enemies like Edmund Dantes, the hero of Dumas' classic the Count of Monte Cristo, or will he only sink lower like the unfortunate Philippe in The Man in the Iron Mask, forced back into prison and forced to hide his face from the world?

Personally, it's tough to imagine Ronaldo with a big unwieldy iron mask on his head, hiding his face from the world. He is far too vain for that type on nonsense. Slowly and vindictively destroying his rivals until he sails off into the Mediterranean sea with a pretty girl who is much too young for him? Now we're talking!

"Injustices will never bring me down." And so begins the epic of the Count of Monte Cristiano.

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